Accomodation reviews I never made

Photo thanks to cyber-tec

When booking accomodations through agencies like Agoda.com or booking.com etc. they usually have an excellent customer satisfaction response system.
If I have the chance I will comment and usually I don't complain much because I'm easily satisfied and if not it is mostly my fault because I didn't check it out carefully enough.
Also through experience I can distill a general picture from the photo's and the comments, taking in account the price and location.
Below are some reviews which I never made because I didn't have the opportunity or because I bargained money off from the (Agoda) price at last minute:

Reviews which I didn't make because I didn't book through an online agency..

2011, Hotel, Bangkok, Thailand:
- The cold water was hotter than the hot water.

2010, Hotel, Bangkok, Thailand:
- The shower tap had only two positions; too hot or too cold.

Reviews which I didn't make because it could not be booked through the internet..

2010, Hotel, Savanakhet, Laos:
- I checked in at the hotel because it was the only one in town advertising with (high speed ADSL) internet on it's window, after which the reception told me internet was out of order. Later I found out it had been out of order since at least half a year.
- On the wall in the room was a large old frame still wrapped in the original plastic it came in with a standard kitsch sample picture in it.
- The disco below was crowded with businessmen and prostitutes only. The main occupation of the latter group was even for the untrained eye easy to notice.
- The door of the room was so crooked you had pull the knob with force to close it, the last day just before checking out, I closed the door but kept the knob in my hand which I left with the astonished receptionist.

2004, Hotel, Alanya, Turkey:
- I locked the bathroom door, which was a big mistake since there was no way to open the lock from the inside. Also my girlfriend was not able to get the crooked door open from the outside, finally I was rescued by some cleaner women who used brute force.
- The only snow ever fallen there was on every channel of the TV.
- Some guests had their luggage stolen while negotiating with the taxi driver.
- The receptionist snarled at me to hand over my spare key immediately because he was affraid we left the airconditioner on.
- Every evening in the empty bar the hotel manager was fighting with his wife, at a certain point from her gestures it was obvious to notice that she treathened to kill him, which didn't happen, so I wouldn't recommend to book hotel to anyone in the near future.

1997, Homestay, Tiblisi, Georgia:
- When taking a shower I got electric shocks from the water, since apperently the electric boiler was not grounded.
(Pls. note that for Tiblisi at the time the cheapest hotel was about $300/night , since only aid workers and foreign officials came there. We also met up with one of the few Dutch residents there, a very kind woman called Sandra Roelofs and we told of our plans to visit to the autonomous republic of Adjara, where she never had been, so she insisted on meeting again after our excursion, which we later did. In order to save-guard us from possible trouble, she gave us a business card of her husband who seemed to be some kind of politician there. In 2004 he became president of Georgia and he's still in charge today.)

Reviews which I didn't make because the internet was not available (there ) at the time..

1997, Homestay, Batumi, Adjara:
-When we arrived the family moved out to a small shed. I asked the husband what he his job was and he told me he was electrician.
- He must have been a lunatic beacuse the wiring was made out of short strands of very thin copper wires which were twisted together without insulation forming daisy chains hanging low over the kitchen table one of which ended twisted around the tap of the kitchen sink, fortunately the whole block was deprived of electricity.
- The room still had the distinct smell of gasoline on which they cooked and a burning smell from the floor upstairs which had fully been burned out. During that incident our room must have gotten that hot that it melted the plastic casing of the TV which was more or less draped around the tube.
- The matrass seemed to have formed its own biotope, since later I was diagnosed to have scabies.
- The outside view was basically a war zone, with broken and deserted buildings, bullet holes everywhere, a desolated park with a rusted old ferris wheel some cabins of which had fallen off.
- We stayed one night and fled.

1997, Hotel, Batumi, Adjara:
- Outdoors on the boulevard the police was holding racing contests in stolen Audi's.
- At night we couldn't sleep because of the booming sound from the disco upstairs, so finally at 1 am we deceided to take a look. Apart from a few local maffia members, a prostitute and one beggar child dancing on the disco-floor, it was empty.

1993, Hotel, Singkiang, China:
- When asking for the toilet a man pointed out to go and sit behind a hill in the desert.

1983, Guesthouse, Istanbul, Turkey:
- When entering the lobby a woman who looked like a gypsy was sitting on the floor breastfeeding her baby. Other children, some of them naked were playing tag around her.
- I asked to stay for two nights, and she wrote on her hand an amount which came down to about $1. I tried to explain to the lady that we wanted to stay there for two nights instead of one, but I finally found out that $1 was the price for two nights.
- The room had a sink and a lightbulb which looked good, but in the evening when we got back in the room it turned out there was no water and no electricity.
- In the night I woke up because I had to pee, so I hoped to find a toilet somewhere outside the room soon. I noticed that we seemed to have gotten the 'executive room', because in the hall they had put up matrasses where other guests were sleeping, I sneaked past them because I was affraid they would attack me to steal our money should one of them wake up and I was relieved to reach the last matrass which I thought to be empty, but suddenly I was schocked by a big snoring sound from a man hidden under the sheets turning sides.
- I never got to see the toilet in the narrow corridor. In the dark I could easily find it by smell. There seemed to be no door. I did not dare to go in and step into something soft in the dark, so I just peed in that direction from where I stood, I would have been much better off just peeing in the sink in the room, but I heard the sound of water, so that must have been a good guess I assume.

- We stayed there one night and fled.