Hotel proverbs, sayings & quotes

Photo thanks to news.travel.aol.com 

Below some proverbs, sayings and quotes about hotels I came up with today:

General:
Don't judge a hotel by (it's) entrance, judge it by (it's) egress.
Boss' away, staff play.
The less one has traveled the more one is tempted to steal things from hotels.
The bigger the country the fewer languages spoken.
Guests:
The uniqueness of the guests is inversely proportional to the room charge.
Close guests are more important than distant relatives.
Breakfast:
The greater the drop in shower pressure and temperature, the busier the breakfast.
The early bird catches the warm boiled egg.
Small hotels and B&B's:
The gayer the owner, the cleaner the room.
As the host is, he trusts his guests. (Old Dutch proverb, really)

Quotes:
- At breakfast with the exception of Germany, having simple things like a boiled egg same as at home will usually cost you an extra $250.
- Breakfast buffets will at least force you to open your eyes.
- When staying in a hotel longer get friendly with the people backstage, like the cook, cleaning ladies and the owner. A good cook as your friend is better than having your mum cooking, cleaners have interesting stories to tell about what is going on, owners often make good guides. One disadvantage is that after longer time the staff will start to act as if you were the owner.
- According to all hotels outside Europe, including England, Europeans have toast and jam for breakfast, whereas in Asia toast, bacon and eggs is American.

Quotes about hotels from others:
- “I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.” (Steven Wright)
- “The great advantage of a hotel is that it's a great refuge from home life” (George Bernard Shaw)
- “There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.” (Henny Youngman)
- “Do Not Disturb" signs should be written in the language of the hotel maids” (Tim Bedore)
- “I've always thought a hotel ought to offer optional small animals. I mean a cat to sleep on your bed at night, or a dog of some kind to act pleased when you come in. You ever notice how a hotel room feels so lifeless?” (Anne Tyler)
- “This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.” (Henny Youngman)
- "In light of heaven, the worst suffering on earth, a life full of the most atrocious tortures on earth, will be seen to be no more serious than one night in an inconvenient hotel." (Mother Teresa)
I really hope for her, now being there, she had it right..

More suggestions anyone? If provided, your link will be mentioned above.