Thursday, 28 April 2011

Top 41 signs you've been living in Isaan too long

41. You can't wait till friday, since you'll meet up with the other expats.
40. You know all expats living in a 10 mile radius by name, the same applies to their wifes, children and grandchildren.
39. Your daily life mainly revolves around a bamboo platform in front of your house.
38. You give directions using the holes in the road as reference.
37. You wear your finest polo shirt since you're going to dine at the local KFC. It's the red one.
36. Weekend excitement involves a trip to the Tesco-Lotus.
35. Your Thai still sucks but you manage pretty well in Lao.
34. You worry about visiting your family for Christmas back home because you cannot do without som tam that long.
33. You start to suffer from farang phobia.
32. You want to vote red. It's in your blood.
31. You drop your children sitting in the back of your pickup off at school.
30. You send your 13 y/o daughter out to go get beer and ice using your motorbike.
29. Your 15 y/o daughter wants to join a party in the next village and you tell her to drive carefully while handing over the keys of your tractor.
28. You hate the idea that your neighbour's rice field is 5 rai bigger.
27. You're in a commitee to make bi-langual street signs.
26. You're elected chief of the village.
25. You don't find the outcome surpising since you own the biggest house over there.
24. You find out your tattoo's don't match your new 'hiso' status, so you consider removal by laser.
23. You ask your wife to do the same.
22. You teach English to the boys and girls who finished school and will move to Pattaya soon.
21. You routinely claxon while passing any Buddhist temple.
20. You co-support the village idiot by occasionally giving him food and alcohol, and you forbid your children to make fun of him.
19. After he dies you find out you replace him.
18. You refer to anyone with a BMW, Mercedes or a house built in this century as hiso.
17. You like to lean over the fence chatting with your neighbours, a 55 y/o ladyboy and her wife, while watching their grandchildren play.
16. You find out 20% of the village population are retired ladyboys.
15. Altough you know all their names you still haven figured out how many people are actually living in your village.
14. You feel quite happy with your "my other car is a Kubota" bumper sticker.
13. You don't care much what happens outside your area, things will happen there decades later anyway.
12. You start having nightmares about scary ghosts.
11. The nightmares stop after following up the advise from a local Buddhist monk.
10. You find out your wife has a thing going on with your minor wife.
9. You're suprised to learn that a friend from overseas comments on your throwing garbage in a corner of the garden.
8. You last visited Bangkok in the back of a pickup, march 2010.
7. You still can become very upset about the Silom bare breasted girls Songkran 2011 incident.
6. You tell your children your buffalo is sick.
5. You throw in a party after your paycheck arrives.
4. The paycheck comes from your sun and daughter in Pattaya.
3. You tell your 19 y/o daughter to stop dating a black guy.
2. You feel better after finding out he comes from the same city as you do.
1. You feel worse after finding out he's a former classmate.


  1. Very funny, you hit the nail on the head, have to admit that's one of the funniest blog posts I ever read.
    Done something similar related to Pattaya, would appreciate some of you humor in the comments.



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